I'm a fella who doesn't like bothar,
All trouble's a deuce of a bore;
I've an income left me by my mothaw,
What on earth could a fella want more!
My favorite sport's killing time,
My aim's to do nothing at all,
While some thro' this world run or climb,
I take the trip easy and crawl.
But they tell me I'm awfully clevar,
Oh, so clevar, deuced clevar;
They say that they nevar
Met a fella so clevar before. (repeat chorus)
Some fellas go in for the army,
And some fellas go in for trade,
But I havn't such bores to alarm me,
My fortune was alteady made.
And some fellas go in for brains,
And scribble to turn in a penny,
Those fellas deserve all their gains,
As for brains I could do without any.
In the Park I am often seen driving,
When the dear girls take me for a duke!
Whenever I go in for billiards,
Somehow I'm a demon to fluke.
Sometimes to an evening party,
To keep them alive in I peep,
Whenever they ask me to sing
They're certain to fall fast asleep. spoken:
I give them “Down among the Coals,” you know,
or else I give them the “Dead March in Saul”
on the flute; Oh, it's awfully jolly, they do laugh,
it completely doubles them up —
Some fellas will borrow a tenner,
For which I get no I.O.U.;
Sometimes I assist them in bills,
Which I have to pay when they're due.
There are mothers, with daughters to marry,
Somehow take a fancy to me;
They think they're as deep as Old Harry,
But the bait and the hook I can see. spoken:
And when they find it is no go, they say —