You are here: Home » Cobs » #2036 - After Nine / Hello! Central, Hello!

#2036 - After Nine / Hello! Central, Hello!

Composer:
- 1) Charles Kassell Harris
  (1867-1930), 1893
- 2) Charles Kassell Harris
  (1867-1930), 1891
Print a Label
1) Lyrics:
I'm fond of a stroll on a prominent street
After nine, after nine,
What strange things we see and what people we meet,
After nine, after nine.
Give me your atention,
I'll not make it long,
I'll tell you some facts in a topical song,
The things that occur in life's mighty throng
After nine, after nine.
After nine when mama's asleep,
Georgy will come Katie's comp'ny to keep,
And burn all the gas while papa's asleep,
After nine, after nine.

A large drygoods box on the street you will see,
After nine, after nine,
You pass it by quickly and innocently,
After nine, after nine.
A big night policeman patrolling his beat,
Will glance very sharply at each one he'll meet.
But when the coast's clear in that box he will sneak,
After nine, after nine.
After nine, when all is serene,
A fight in progress, no cops to be seen,
The poor man's sleeping and thinks it a dream,
After nine, after nine.

A bald-headed man will go to a show,
After nine, after nine;
He admires the ballet from the front row,
After nine, after nine,
He writes to the fairy, “Your face I adore,
I'll meet you, my loved one, at the stage door.”
He meets her and finds she is just fifty-four,
After nine, after nine!
No paint or powder on that face to be seen,
That fairy's a grandma 'tis plain to be seen,
After nine, after nine!

A married man wishes to go to a ball,
After nine, after nine,
His dear wife, you know, suspects nothing wrong,
After nine, after nine.
He makes an excuse, and his wife takes it in,
There's a light in her dark eye bodes no good to him,
And off to the ball he goes with a grin,
After nine, after nine.
After nine as soon as it's late,
Dear little wife for her hubby will wait,
And with a shovel she greets her dear mate,
After nine, after nine.

There's a young man you meet who's always dead broke
After nine, after nine,
His money is gone, and his watch is in soak,
After nine, after nine,
You say to him kindly, “O where have you been?
Come make me your confidant; what have you seen?”
He answers “I've played but a game on the green
After nine, after nine.”
After nine no money I've got,
My head is aching, I wish I was shot;
The fellow I played with scooped a jackpot,
After nine, after nine.

The tom cat will sing in a voice very clear,
After nine, after nine,
A beautiful song called “Maria, I'm here.”
After nine, after nine!
He stands 'neath your window without fear or dread;
You feel very sleepy, you'd fain go to bed;
You don't get much slumber but a serenade instead,
After nine, after nine.
After nine, when the world is at rest,
Is the time that Tom sings the best,
You fire a boot jack, he won't take a rest,
After nine, after nine.
- Charles Kassell Harris
  (1867-1930), 1893
2) Lyrics:
One bright and pleasant evening,
While sitting all alone,
A message came a-ringing
From o'er the telephone;
I sprang up in a hurry,
And answered back, “Hello!”
When soft and clear a voice so dear
Came o'er the telephone:
“Where were you last night, Harry,
Why don't you keep your date?
You promised you would meet me
Down by the old garden gate.
I think you are a trifler”—
Then came a sob and moan—
“You'd better get another girl,”
Came o'er the telephone.

chorus:
“Hello, Central, hello!”
“Hello!” back came the answer to me.
“Hello, Central, hello! Hello!
I wonder who she can be.
I think you're mistaken,
For I'm not the man,
I've a wife and a family,
Though I wish I could hear
That sweet voice so dear
From over the telephone,
From over the telephone.”

I stood there in amazement,
I knew not what to say,
A voice like that I'd never heard,
No, not for many a day.
I answered back, “My fair one,
Mistaken you must be,
I've never said I'd meet you, though
Your face I'd like to see.”
I waited for an answer,
I had not long to wait.
Another voice then shouted,
“Are you drinking much of late?
Go sleep it off till morning,
You'll feel better when you're at home.
You've drank enough for twenty men,”
Came over the telephone.

chorus:
“Hello, Central, hello!”
“Hello!” back came the answer to me.
“Hello, Central, hello! Hello!
These lines must be cross'd, I see.
A lady was talking a short time ago,
A man says I'm full as can be.”
Then came a reply,
“Oh, Harry, I'll die,”
From over the telephone,
From over the telephone.

At last I felt quite worried,
I knew not what to do,
My heart beat for that maiden
Who felt so sad and blue.
To the 'phone again I answered,
I shouted out, “Hello!”
When some one cried,
“I thought I'd die,”
“Will you pay that bill you owe?”
“Why don't you speak to me again—?
Your voice I love to hear;”
When some one else then shouted,
“All right, sir, send down some beer.”
“I'll meet you on the corner—
To be sure, I'll be all alone,
Oh! Harry dear, you're acting so queer,”
Came over the telephone.

chorus:
“Hello, Central, hello!”
“Hello!” back came the answer to me.
“Hello, Central, Hello! Hello!!
Who's the lady that's talking to me?”
I rang and I shouted, but no one replied.
How oft'n I sob and I moan
When I think of that voice
That made me rejoice
From over the telephone,
From over the telephone.
- Charles Kassell Harris
  (1867-1930), 1893

Charles Kassell Harris wrote a very popular sequel Hello Central, Give Me Heaven in 1901. The “Hello Central” phrase became quite popular—for instance All Alone! (1911, with music by Harry Von Tilzer and words by William Dillon) begins “Hello Central, Hello Central, Give me 6-0-3.”

The lyrics of After Nine have several similarities to #555 - Oh! What a Difference in the Morning both in content and form.

Corrections / Suggestions / Information