Lyrics:
I once met a beautiful Spaniard!
Quite the finest,
And divinest!
She played, in the streets, for a living,
Altho' she'd the grace of a Queen!
Her beauty was something magnetic!
I grew frantic!
Quite romantic!
I followed her round like a poodle!
And worshipped her sweet Mandoline!
At last, … I ventured to say,
“How really delicious you play!”
chorus:
But she only answered “Ting-a-ling,”
To all that I could say;
She seemed to live on ting-a-ling,
By night as well as day,
I told her I would marry her,
But all she had to say
Was, ting-a-ling-a-ling-ting,
Ting-a-ling-a-ling-ting,
Ting-a-ling-a-ling-ting-tay!
I'm neither so old or so ugly,
I am healthy,
Fairly wealthy,
And thousands would be quite delighted
To join me in Hymen's strong noose!
But this was the girl that I wanted!
I adored her,
And implored her
To tell me my fate, if she loved me!
Alas! all my prayers were no use.
Said I, “If you won't be my wife,
I'll soon put an end to my life!”
I showed her a bottle marked “Poison!”
And a dagger,
Just for swagger!
A rusty, six chamber revolver
Was also displayed in my belt!
I told her unless she consented,
She'd repent it,
For I meant it!
For no one could ever imagine
The fantastic feelings I felt.
Then I lifted the “dagger” on high,
My life hung upon her reply!
Just then, I was tapp'd on the shoulder
By a Spaniard,
Black-and-taniard!
A swarthy, big lump of a fellow
Who rose quite six feet from the floor!
He said my lovemaking was treason,
Out of season,
Out of reason;
For she, who had won my affection,
Was deaf as the post of a door,
Moreover,“ said he “bye-the-bye,
She is my wife and that's why …
