Lyrics:
When you're giving folks advice,
Or you're telling stories nice,
I shouldn't tell the end, if I were you;
For to cut it short is best,
You can let them guess the rest,
Twiggy voo, my boys? Twiggy voo?
When young Jones, at number four,
Rushes headlong from the door,
Calls a cab, says, “Drive to Doctor Lud-knows-who;”
Returns with doctor—but it's worse!
When he next goes for the nurse,
Twiggy voo, my boys? Twiggy voo?
chorus:
Twiggy voo, my boys? Twiggy voo?
Well of course it stands to reason that you do,
All the force and meaning in it you can “tumble” in a minute,
Twiggy voo, my boys? Twiggy voo?
With a deal of female fuss,
A girl was signalling for a bus,
Waved her gamp, and shouted just as ladies do;
“O Conductor, do you go
As far as—well, er—Pimlico?”
Twiggy voo, my boys? Twiggy voo?
Then she got the bus to stop
While she clambered on the top,
And a gust of wind along the roadway blew,
The Conductor scratched his head—
Was it “Railways” that he said?
Twiggy voo, my boys? Twiggy voo?
Now a lover and his lass,
Were exchanging spoony gas,
And I thought they'd keep it up till all was blue;
For I heard him, plain and clear,
Say, “Sit closer to me, dear.”
Twiggy voo, my boys? Twiggy voo?
Then I heard a kick and bark,
And a scuffle in the dark,
And the father gave the girl a welting, too;
“I'll teach you to play at shops!”
And the bull-dog licked his chops,
Twiggy voo, my boys? Twiggy voo?
When with sly and stealthy feet,
Some young man walks down the street,
Looking round to see who's watching what he'll do,
And you see him quickly pop
Into uncle's famous shop
Twiggy voo, my boys? Twiggy voo?
He comes out into the light,
With his frock-coat buttoned tight,
And his wastecoat is quite hidden from the view;
Boy says “What's the time, please Gus?”
Gus says, “Don't know!” then says “Cuss!”
Twiggy voo, my boys? Twiggy voo?
When a girl goes to be wed,
She is nearly off her head,
And, upon my word, she don't know what to do;
She is frightened for, O lor,
She's never done such things before,
Twiggy voo, my boys? Twiggy voo?
The happy man with ring has come,
Wants to shove it on her thumb,
And the couple of them get in such a stew;
Then an old girl standing nigh,
Says “Poor soul.” and heaves a sigh!
Twiggy voo, my boys? Twiggy voo?
