Lyrics:
I'm going to whisper some words in your ear,
But for goodness sake don't say I told you,
What ever I say, and what ever you hear,
But for goodness sake don't say I told you;
I think you'll acknowledge before you depart
That I've unreservedly opened my heart
And what ever I know I to you will impart,
But for goodness sake don't say I told you.
They say that your boys are quite fond of us girls,
But for goodness sake don't say I told you,
Then when we smile on you your head fairly whirls,
But for goodness sake don't say I told you;
That at us you are constantly making sheep's eyes,
That your bosoms are constantly heaving with sighs,
For my part I think you are awfully nice,
But for goodness sake don't say I told you.
I'm awfully modest, and awfully shy,
But for goodness sake don't say I told you.
But in spite of it all, I like fun on the sly;
But for goodness sake don't say I told you.
I'm sorry, so sorry, for hearts that I break,
I know it ain't right, but I certainly take,
In that line, what's commonly known as the cake;
But for goodness sake don't say I told you.
They're tearing the lamp-posts out just by the score;
But for goodness sake don't say I told you.
But for now I don't think they'll tear up any more,
But for goodness sake don't say I told you.
For returning from lodge on a cold winter night,
The gents who are tired can't do without light,
And they'll sing a grand chorus of “Now that's not right;”
But for goodness sake don't say I told you.
Of doggerel verse I've exhausted my store,
But for goodness sake don't say I told you.
My muse has declared “She won't do so some more,”
But for goodness sake don't say I told you.
From further demands, then, I pray you, refrain,
My song breathes its last, and there let it remain,
Excuse these few words till I see you again,
But for goodness sake don't say I told you.
B.E. Gordon, 1883
Lyrics:
I'm going to whisper some words in your ear,
But for goodness sake don't say I told you,
Whatever I say, and whatever you hear,
For goodness' sake, don't say I told you;
I think you'll acknowledge before you depart
That I've unreservedly opened my heart
And what ever I know I to you will impart,
But, for goodness' sake, don't say I told you.
The mashers are getting too thick on the street,
But for goodness' sake, don't say I told you,
In gorgeous apparel (unpaid for) complete,
But for goodness' sake, don't say I told you.
With eye glass and cane quite cutting a swell,
In front of the “Grand” or the “Palace” Hotel,
But what they are good for nobody can tell,
But, for goodness' sake, don't say I told you.
The political pool's in a curious state,
But for goodness' sake, don't say I told you,
Both parties are watching and cutting their bait,
But for goodness' sake, don't say I told you.
For a new party some people think there is room,
And when it once starts it will go with a boom,
And send all the old ones away up the flume,
But, for goodness' sake, don't say I told you.
For matters have got in such terrible shape,
But, for goodness' sake, don't say I told you;
With uncivil service and legal “red tape”,
But, for goodness' sake, don't say I told you.
That honest “Pub Func's” are a thing of the past,
So every one says that the worst are the last,
And the end of the world is approaching us fast,
But, for goodness' sake, don't say I told you.
The really great singers are nearly all dead,
But, for goodness' sake, don't say I told you;
And those that are not are the same for they're wed,
But, for goodness' sake, don't say I told you.
It makes me feel lonesome to see them all go,
And one by one dropping like bricks in a row,
But music still lives while I do you know,
But, for goodness' sake, don't say I told you.
A great fault in singers you all will admit,
But, for goodness' sake, don't say I told you;
Is failing to “catch on”, the moment to quit,
But, for goodness' sake, don't say I told you.
They spin out their ditty so horribly long
That more of a sermon it is than a song,
So I'll “spin” out of sight where perhaps I belong,
But, for goodness' sake, don't say I told you.
encore verse:
Well, what's the diffikilty now with you folks,
Ain't you suited with what I have told you?
I've got to the end of my budget of jokes,
But, for goodness' sake, don't say I told you.
Now a tale that's twice told is as good as no tale,
So “ta ta”, my friends, this time without fail,
But, for goodness' sake, don't say I told you.
M.E., 1883
There are several editions, with differing lyrics and additional verses, but the first verse is usually similar, and the closing verse follows a similar theme. Many include political statements in middle verses.